Friday, December 6, 2013

Long Time No Post

Hello guys, it's been a long time since I posted here. Well, yes college activities kills me. Kind of different with my school days. No, I am not saying that no free time, but it's just so hard to manage my time now and posting some post here need mood too!! So, yeah I just found that now.
Let me start with one question for myself. How's life? Well my life is flat. As always, I am just study and play hard. What a boring life isn't it? I have nothing to share. Hm maybe there's one. Okay guys, prepare yourself to be shocked. I lost my weight, 17 kilograms in 3 months. This is a new record in my life. I have been tried so many diet ways but then I found this. OCD, Obsessive Corbuzier Diet (you can google it) and I do cardio 30 minutes a day. Just that.
I still single, I am just boring being single since born (this is the reason why I diet. But shit no one being attracted by that hahaha) I am just what, I don't know how to explain it. I feel lonely, yes! No, not lonely but what hmm disappointed. Why? One day (now become everyday) something just came to my mind 'Am I that ugly so there's no one at least attracted?' Is that disappointed thought or desperate one? LOL
I hate being a girl. I couldn't express all of my feeling directly. It's labelled on us, girls.
But, me, in my life, once do that. I once express, not all but at least I tell him. I don't know it just happened. Maybe everything just explode like a bomb from my mind. I just thinking about 'you only live once, forget about whatever people will say. Just do it. At least you have try'. In the end, he apologize. Yes, I know the result. I even don't ask him for an answer. Kind of stupid. Why tell him if don't want to know the answer. But he apologized. It's explained all, including the result. Now, we become weird (as always). I don't know maybe because of the distance. This lead me to start asking myself, 'Why physic is so important for men?' I, honestly not really put the 'handsome' part in the first column of my boy's type. Since I realize that I am not worth for those 'handsome'. But, I just.......why those prettiness or body shape can lead it all for them? Yes, not all of men are like that but most of them will start to flirting when they are attracted to girl's body shape or pretty face. Don't try to deny it, because I know that was you guys first terms for dating. Nevermind, I hope I could meet someone that 'see' me from another perspective. I hope.
Let me continue. Since that incident, I feel like I want to be someone else. I starting to hate myself, why am I being like this and I start to think about my ugliness. To be honest, I know I am ugly. No, stop telling lies you fake. That's why I do diet. And it's really worth it. After losing weight, I start to be someone else. I tend to crying every night for no reason. I am being fake, smiling and laughing happily pretending like happiness really stay in me. But when I am alone, I just............yeah.
Can anyone tell me what the hell is this feeling?

Goodnight folks.
Sweet dreams

Thursday, August 1, 2013

My Charismatic Ahjussi(?) Biases

Please don't underestimate me from the title. Hahaha but really recently because of my bored holiday, then I wasted my time with watching k-drama and browsing. OH I NEED VACATION /cry a river/
So, because of those k-dramas, I started to choose my favorite character. But almost all of them have ahjussi age lol. So, let's start before you think too much.

1. Lee Dong Wook
lol I remembered this was my N-Gage QD wallpaper xDD

Well, why he is the first? Because, I love him since long time ago, around primary high school if I am not wrong (from his drama "My Girl" with Lee Da Hae). But, I only followed him until the "Partner" drama. Then, one year ago I watched "Scent of Woman". AND WHAT THE HELL HE LOOKS SO FUCKING AWESOME with that western boy looks (I am sure he did surgery but who cares) Then, I love him moreeeeeeeeeeee moreeeeee +++++. He changed a lot after the military service. He built his body well. OMG HIS ABS hahaha lol sorry for fangirling. But from this, I have learn that first love will never being forgotten :')

Scent Of Woman TT too handsome~~


2. Cha Seung Won

He is the truly ahjussi lol. But although he is the oldest, but his charisma and his abs really makes me melted....... I never know this person until then I watched "The Greatest Love". His character suited him well lol. His laugh, his smirk, his stupidness, and his romantic thingy. AHHH I want to have husband(?) like him. But he is a married man lol. Almost all of them are married. Poor me lol.
lol ahjussi how should I commented into this!!!


3. Jang Dong Gun
cook for me pleaseee~~~

Well, actually I never know the exact face of him before I finally watching "Gentleman's Dignity" (I RECOMMENDED THIS TO YOU) Well actually the drama makes me to love ahjussi more than before. Because, lol they looks so fucking funny+charismatic at the same time!!! I love all of the cast there those 4 ahjussi in Gentleman's Dignity. Each person has an unique personality that I liked. But then Jang Dong Gun won my heart hahaha... Maybe because of those 'one sided love' thingy..... SIGH. But in real life, he is also a married man /cry a river/
4 ahjussi that I told before. hahaha so charismatic+dorky!!! (Yoon haven't married fyi)

4. Song Seung Hoon
little bored huh? Here an abs for you /drool/

I don't know if Seung Hoon including one of all ahjussi in this list. I know this person from a drama called "My Princess" (I bought the DVD about 2 years ago but just watched it last week). He play a diplomat role there. OH SHIT MAN!!! You know that since I studied International Relations thingy, I really want to marry a diplomat. Like srsly he is so handsome+awesome+romantic+and look like Siwon a bit ahahaha. And his eyelashes is not kidding!!!! It's so thick and makes him more++++ handsome!!!!
with a little princess Lee Seol. AHHH!!! please be my kid's father!! lol

5. Lee Chun Hee

Well I know him from Family Outing. And I fallen for him because of his handsomeness+stupidness lol. He has a similar character with Lee Gwangsoo at Running Man (I think I fallen for stupid boy so much). But, the thing that disappoint me is.................(again) he is a married man. I know it right after I am fallen for him and then googling about him and.........../hearbreak/

T__T but still happy wedding guys T__T


6. Choi Jin Hyuk

His smile just color my life hahaha (too much)

This is the new one lol. He won my heart more than the lead actor (Lee Seung Gi) on "Gu Family Book". I really love him the very first episode. When he appeared, OMG he is so adorable. His smile, his smirk, his charisma becoming wolf hahahahaha (I once imagining if I have a husband like Gu Wul Ryeong lol I will never stab him back. Blame Seo Hwa for that TT (lol too emotional while watching drama)
SHIT THIS SMIRK IS DAEBAK ONE

There's many more but I am too lazy to type hahahaha have no idea what to write. So, I ended up with 5 ahjussi here. So, how do you think? Did we have a same type? hahahhaaha But all of them makes me want to marry a mature man more than a same age man or even younger than me. AHHH!!! hahahaha, so enjoy this post. And waiting for the next one!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Fangirl


Around 2009, same year with me started this blog, I started to feel so many different things that maybe I couldn't get to if I didn't joined this zone. We called as Everlasting Friends or known as ELF. If you know, ELF is the name that Super Junior gave to their fans. Yes, and I am one of them. Actually I am not the official one, of course you know the distance was the problem. If you want to be the official one, you should go to Korea and manage it all there. Since my hangul isn't that good like an expert, so I think being Indonesian official one is enough.

And now, in 2013, I am still here, in this zone. I am still the same me with all my love to them. (although I changed to be more mature than before) I still can handle my emotion and not really into K-pop that often. I don't know why, every time I trying to stop this fangirling thingy, the more I found it interesting. I found this activity (fangirling, spazzing, and watching concert) is addicting like drugs. I know, I know that this activity do really disturbing. I do realized that when you watch them, spazzing over them, spent money just to buy their album or watching their concert is a unnecessary things to do for common people. There's so many disapproval from my family especially. (God Bless my ELF friends that have those parents that support their fangirling activities). Yes, I understand their way of thinking. I know they will think that 'concert' is the wrong way to spending much money. In addition, I am not rich, I mean my family. I don't want to bother my parent's saving to be spent for concert. That's why, I always try to think the different way to satisfy this desires of being ELF. I try to understand their way of thinking even though it was very hard.

If you think that I just love them just for fun and it won't be long lasting, I think you're wrong. If I do this just for fun or because SJ is a mainstream idol to loved, honestly, if I already falling in love with peoples/things/idols, I always keep them until the unexpected time. Example, for my crush. I have the same crush from my first year Junior High School era until my last year Senior High School era since I have found another crush. That's my 'unique' trait actually. I think that's why I can't get out from this zone. For me, SJ has 'that' different thing that other k-boybands doesn't have. That will be the reason why I am still here for about 5 years. Because I am that trusty kind of girl. (lol promotion)

Not only negative sides, being an ELF drive me to be a 'new' and better person. I even met so many different people that also an ELF. It amazed me that just because one similarity then we could connected. Sometimes, I feel ELF is not just a name, we are community, we are family, and we are SJ's 'friends'. I know, SJ will never recognized my existence, but I feel myself being called when they said 'ELF'. I don't care whether it was only a strategy to gain ELF, I don't care about it. Kind of desperate or careless, but I just don't want to bother my mind with that negative way of thinking.

I do realize that SJ decrease their quality. They looks so much different with the 'old' SJ that first time I saw. There's so many fake things, so many arrogance, I feel it, but then I always think that I just a fans. What did I know about them? They may smile, crying, or laughing in front of camera. But once that camera off, who knows??? I try to control that 'act like you know everything about SJ since you're an ELF' way of thinking. But, as I said before, they are just addicting like drugs. I know them, I watched them from the very first time they did debut, and I found them attractive. I falling in love with them for the very first time I saw them in front of me. Once again, I am that trusty kind of girl ;) lol

Thankyou for always bowing, I don't care whether it was for image or whatever, but I feel that
warm feeling :)

My wish for the adult me (I once imagine that I will open this in my old age time), I hope the 'mature' me could earn super much money for reach my fangirl's dream. Do study well now then get a decent job and my problem will be solved. Because, money can buy everything is true. Sorry for being sarcasm but come on, be realist!!! I mean, if you guys still think that money can't buy everything or money can't buy happiness, if I am being realist and selfish instead of being religious or whatever it called, my happiness could be bought by money. It was my own principle if you ask me about it now. Example, watching concert, I may just feel happiness but the sensation of watching your idol concert is so fantastic. Everyone has their own way of thinking, rite? That's why for me, concert is really worth it, especially Supershow.

This is just one of my random thought, no offense, and I just write this to explore my own opinion about my self and my experiences being an ELF. If you have a different way from mine, It's okay :)

Lastly, I just want to say Happy 7th Anniversary for ELF on 2nd June yesterday. I don't know whether I will leave this zone or not, but if you ask me about it now, I think I still happy being an ELF and I haven't found any better idols than SJ. Let's do sapphire blue ocean once with me :")


I wish I was there once in my life :")






"I never ask them to love me back, but yeah I feel it, they love me back"







Thankyou for reading!!!!